A whole ceremony, with the cues.

Please, sit. Thank you for coming, some of you a very long way, for two people who would have driven even further for you. I’m Jordan. I’ve known Sam since we were eleven and I have known Riley since the night Sam came home soaked through and said, “I think I met someone at a bus stop.”

Sam met Riley at a bus stop in Portland, in the rain, with one umbrella between them and three miles to go. Six years, two flats and one very loud dog later, they asked me, the friend who sent them both to that bus stop, to stand here and say it out loud: they chose each other, and they keep choosing.

Here is what I know about these two. Riley is the person who reads the manual. Sam is the person who has already taken it apart. Between them, somehow, everything gets built, and it stays built. Riley told me the thing they love most about Sam is that Sam has never once said “I told you so,” even when it was true. Sam told me the thing they love most about Riley is that Riley saves the last bite of everything for the other person, every time, and thinks nobody has noticed.

We have a reading now from Ana, who has been waiting for this day since, by her own account, 2019. Ana.

Thank you, Ana. Sam, Riley, you are about to make promises to each other in front of the people who know you best. That is the whole point of doing it here, out loud, with witnesses. Not so we can check, but so we can help.

Sam, do you take Riley to be your partner in marriage, to stand beside them in the easy years and the hard ones, to keep choosing them on the days it is simple and on the days it is not?

I do.

Riley, do you take Sam to be your partner in marriage, to stand beside them in the easy years and the hard ones, to keep choosing them on the days it is simple and on the days it is not?

I do.

You have written your own vows. Sam, you’re first, because you lost the coin toss.

(Sam’s vows, tidied from what Sam wrote, on the vows page.)

(Riley’s vows, tidied from what Riley wrote, on the vows page.)

The rings. Theo has had these in his pocket for forty minutes and has checked for them, by my count, eleven times. Sam, take Riley’s ring. As you put it on, say after me: I give you this ring as a promise, and as a reminder of the day I said it out loud.

I give you this ring as a promise, and as a reminder of the day I said it out loud.

Riley, take Sam’s ring. Say after me: I give you this ring as a promise, and as a reminder of the day I said it out loud.

I give you this ring as a promise, and as a reminder of the day I said it out loud.

Sam and Riley, you have made your promises in front of everyone who loves you, and you have exchanged rings as a sign of them. By the authority given to me, and with all of us as witnesses, I now pronounce you married.

You may kiss.

Friends and family, for the first time: Sam and Riley, married. Please stand for them as they go, and then follow them to the garden, where there is cake and, I am told, the very loud dog.